Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Phelps Underwrites Critical AIDS Research, Shows Scientists How to Perform Experiment

Atlanta, GA--

Today, the CDC in Atlanta held a press conference to introduce critical AIDS research which is being funded by USA swim team member Michael Phelps. Phelps plans to fund the work by auctioning off a pair of goggles made from the gold dust contained in some of his earlier medals. The panel at the press conference included the current CDC Chair, a team of AIDS research scientists, and Phelps. When reporters asked the scientists how they plan to proceed with the experiment, scientists responded with a powerpoint presentation which was interupted by a visibly angry Phelps. A swim-suit clad Phelps muttered " don't know what the hell you're doing" into his microphone before scolding the scientists, challenging them to a breath-holding contest, and then carrying on with the scientific presentation himself. Fellow scientists which were not a part of the presentation were awe-struck, and consequently ashamed after the upstaging in which Phelps cured a dying duck with AIDS, and then cloned it in a requisate fifteen minutes. 3 people were injured during the incident.

Pictured: a visible angry Phelps at the CDC in Atlanta, GA

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