Saturday, August 16, 2008

BREAKING: Phelps Named Archbishop of Paraguay

The Vatican--

Pope Benedict XVI has named Michael Phelps the new Archbishop of Paraguay. Phelps replaces Fernando Lugo, who was recently released from his post in order to accept the Presidency of Paraguay.

The Pontiff noted Phelps's international appeal in his statement, saying that "no one gets the attention that Michael Phelps gets--not even me."

Phelps accepted his ordination as bishop with trademark humility.

"Gosh," he said, "I'm not even Catholic, but, you know, if you dare to dream, you can achieve anything, even if what you achieve is becoming Archbishop of Paraguay, and what you dreamed was winning eight gold medals."

(Photo: President of Paraguay, Fernando Logo, discusses his replacement with reporters)

No comments: