UC Berkley, CA --After scientists have seen all of their lab roaches, as well as domestic U.S. roaches disappear in recent weeks, the public finally has an answer as to why -- Gold Medalist Michael Phelps. When asked about the strange phenomena by a reporter after his 200m race about the incident, Phelps only winked and said "...you're welcome."
Though scientists are unsure how Phelps has effectively retired the 200 million year-old species, and what some regard as the strongest evolutionary adaptor, Phelps' office soon after released a statement only saying: "200 million-years is one thing, but you can't genetically adapt to me." More details to come.
Above: a statement released on Phelps' website about the abrupt absence of roaches.
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