Nazareth, PA --It seemed that nothing could grab headlines from the global-warming caused winter storm in Pennsylvania this August...until now. Recently stolen infant elephants from the Pittsburgh Zoo were discarded by their captors on the side of the road this Monday; left to freeze at subzero temperatures. Olympiad Phelps, on a day trip to Nazareth, PA to have his newly collected 5-gold medals shined at local metal smith purveyor Going at it Hammer and Tongs, saw the baby pachyderms in the median. Cutting short his swim in the nearby creek, Phelps grabbed the elephants and headed back for the creek only to break the world record for tributary swimming (Guinness World Records' Noris McWhirter was close by on an ice fishing holiday). The animals are safely back at the zoo. Phelps will race for his 6th gold medal tonight in Beijing.
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