Phelps Decared Pig Lipsticking Champion

Baton Rouge, LA--

Michael Phelps has been declared the Pig Lipsticking Champion of the World at the first annual Lipstick on a Pig rodeo in Baton Rouge, LA.

Inspired by Barack Obama's recent comments, Phelps entered the contest wearing a mask and calling himself "Phicael Melphs." Phelps was declared the winner, successfully putting lipstick on thirty-seven pigs in ten minutes.

"They just love me," Phelps said. "All I had to do was show them my medal, and they'd stop oinking long enough to give them a little lipstick."

Phelps, speaking with several lipstick marks on his cheek, also noted that the pigs kept trying to lick him, once they realized that he had won eight gold medals, setting seven world records in the process.

Phelps, whose mustache was recently passed over for Barack Obama's running mate, says he has "no hard feelings."